Monday, December 18, 2006

How it happened

The post you've all been waiting for!!

Are you ready to hear the story??

Drumroll, please?

*walks up to the stage, takes place at the microphone; crowds cheering*

"Thank you, thank you. Please... please, have a seat. Thank you all for coming out today. It means so much to me." *another round of applause* "No, really, you must sit down. Make yourselves comfortable!

"Thursday night my sister and I had just finished watching a movie with our family. It was after 11:00, and the two of us were sleepy and hyper. You know what that's like!"
*laughter*

"Katie was comparing her height to mine, and finding that she was inevitably doomed to spend the rest of her life being looked down upon by me, she began endeavoring to add a cubit to her stature... Not by taking thought, but by simultaneously pushing my shoulders down while boosting herself up off the ground.

"What she meant as a playful attempt to make herself taller than me, actually felt good to me. She was stretching my shoulder muscles by her weight on them. I told her that I liked it, and said she could do it again." (See where the "shoulders" thing comes in??)

*ooh, oh, we see...* *knowing nods amongst the audience*

"My stepdad, upon seeing our previous 'competition' remarked, 'Katie, I don't think you're ever going to be taller than Jessie. But I still think you could take her if it came down to it.'

"This statement prompted a swell of pride and hope in my sister's heart, and spurred on by the thought of it, quickly shifted her hands from being pressed on my shoulders, to snatching up my elbows and holding my arms behind my back before I knew what was happening.

"There is something you must know before I continue the story. It pains me to confess it... but I must for the sake of the narrative." *reluctant sigh* "I am incredibly ticklish."

*smiles and occasional "uh-oh!'s"*

"So as she grabbed my elbows and held my arms behind me, I was being tickled at the sides of my waist. Katie was not intending to tickle me, and didn't even know she was! But I felt tickled... and in the same way that when a skunk feels threatened, he sprays, when I feel tickled I squirm! I become rather violent when I am being tickled; but Katie had me trapped! My arms were stuck behind my back, and there was no way to escape!! I couldn't get away! My only option I could find in the confusion of the moment, was to jump and try to run and break free!

"However as I jumped, Katie's grip on me only strengthed! Insead of breaking loose as I had intended, my jump only caused me to double over, leaning forward with my feet off the ground! Katie was supporting my entire weight by holding my arms at my back, and my head was now nearer the ground than my feet were!"

*frightened sighs!* *a lady faints in the crowd!*

"Katie finally heard my desperate cries to 'let me get down! Put me down!' 'Stop!! You're still tickling me!' 'My feet are off the floor!' so she let go of my arms... But my feet still weren't on the ground, and my head was almost! Now I began to fall from her supporting hands, and being doubled over as I was, with my hands still behind me with no time to put them out to break my fall- I saw the floor coming nearer and nearer my face, when *bam!* my nose hit the carpet, followed by the rest of me."

*shocked exclamations!*

"After a slightly dazed second, I realized what had just happened! My sister had dropped me! I had fallen on my nose! Is it broken? bruised? Am I bleeding? Do I have carpet burn on my cheek?" (no to all of the above, btw.)
"But my nose! It's getting bigger by the minute!" (or not.)
"So there you have it. That's how my sister dropped me, and I fell on my nose."
*applause*
"Again, thank you, thank you" *curtsies* "Glad you could come out today! See you 'round!"
*more cheers* as I exit the stage, waving...

7 Comments:

Blogger Susan said...

That was an absolutely hilarious telling of the story, Jessie :). Hannah will enjoy that when she gets home later today. And many thanks to Katie for helping to make it possible. I'm glad to know there were no permanent or serious injuries ;).

12/18/2006 10:34 AM  
Anonymous Amy said...

Funny funny funny! Your telling of the story is even funnier than Katie's! (yeah, she emailed it to me. It was my fault. I begged her for it--I was dying of curiosity. And I can admit it now that you've posted it for everyone else.)I especialy loved the whole "performance theme"!

12/18/2006 7:36 PM  
Blogger une_fille_d'Ève said...

Very, very funny. :-) Sounds painful! Noses are so sensitive! But I still liked some of my guesses... :-)

12/18/2006 8:23 PM  
Blogger Jessie said...

*curtsies again*

Thanks girls. It was fun having y'all guess the story! Hannah, you did think up quite funny explanations!! I've never gotten 26 comments on a post before, either, so that was nice : )

Yes, Amy, Katie told me she had broken her vow of secrecy and whispered the story to you. But I need to go find her e-mail to see just what she said... Did our stories line up?

And I second Susan: Thanks to Katie for making such a post possible! Where would I be without her? : )

12/18/2006 9:22 PM  
Blogger Jessie said...

Oh, do y'all know the Brady Bunch, Tasmanian or Canadian People of the Blogosphere? I hope my references to the show in my post made sense to non-Americans. : )

12/18/2006 9:24 PM  
Blogger Robert said...

I enjoyed the way you told the story.I have heard of the Brady Bunch and some of the actor's/characters but I haven't watched it.I went to youtube and I was able to watch the Brady episode called "The Subject was Noses" that someone had uploaded and I saw some of the references you used.For your next story you and Katie could try out one of Hannah's guesses :)

12/19/2006 8:37 AM  
Blogger Anna Naomi said...

That's funny! =)

My older sister used to jump up on my shoulders every time she saw me, telling me to "shrink, shrink!" I never dropped her, but she did get her wish. I stayed 1 inch shorter than her. :-)

12/21/2006 9:28 AM  

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